Like love is, forgiveness is a choice. With both, you need to put effort into it to make it work. I don't think its a switch I can turn on or turn off. It's part of a process. I think part of loving someone who loves you back requires forgiveness as part of that process.
Yes. It is work and there are some days when I feel less forgiving than others but forgiveness is still the goal.Does my H deserve my forgiveness? Probably not but I want him to have it anyway. Again...it isn't for him. It is for me and even more so, it is for my kids. They are watching every interaction between their dad and I...my son, in particular. I need them to see that their mom is okay and I don't think that is what they will see if I am hanging on to anger and resentment.
Originally Posted by Adam04
I yearn for the comfort of my W. I know how this can make someone weak and vulnerable. I choose to stand and its tough and can be lonely. My W will never see this hurt. She will never face it.
I can so relate to this Adam. It is strange that I think of my H as a source of comfort because the reality is that he has not been that for me for a very long time. Once again, my brain and my heart are at odds on this.
