I would give her a gas card as well as a gift card to target or Walmart so that she can purchase the necessities. Continue to clothe and feed your children, as to seeing to their medical and dental issues. If, an emergency comes up w/your wife, you can then decide what you need to do to ensure her health and well being...but for foolish spending...no.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
