One of the hardest things I am finding about my situation is that even if he moves out we can never just move on independently because we have children together. And young children to boot! That means we will have to see each other and often. It's something I think he doesn't realize at all. I can tell that he wants to run away from me/our life but unless he completely abandons our children (which, at this moment, I don't think he will) he is still stuck seeing me. At every life event (big and small) of our kids. I have this horrible picture in my head of every event in their lives being marred by the horrible awkwardness of their torn apart family. Mom here. Dad over there. Both of us there but never together. Forever. I think that my husband doesn't realize that this is the life he is trying to condemn all of us too.
That being said, I do realize that I can't make him understand this. I can't make him do or see anything. I am trying to keep the door open for reconciliation. I would like for him to come to his senses before he shatters our kids by moving out. I know that is unlikely though.
My husband took off the day after BD for a week and I read the Divorce Remedy immediately during that week. So, aside from the crying that definitely occurred during BD I have never cried, begged, pleaded, followed, yelled or tried to talk about any of this. I gather this is somewhat unusual. I hope that it is helpful in the long run. It's so different that other situations I read where everyone says they did all the wrong things and then DB'd and they could see a difference. I have no compare/contrast available to DBing and not DBing. Has anyone ever DB'd right from day 1?
I appreciate the wisdom of all of the veterans here and the time you are taking to share it with me.
