Hello all, some news here. I know this is a divorce busting forum, but my update is exactly the opposite. Since my last post, two days later I decided to throw in the towel, and agreed to sign a divorce agreement with her at the courthouse.
Well actually that's not against DB'ing. The DB'ing rules are to not pursue D, but if your spouse does then don't do anything to block it. So from what you're describing it sounds like your ex initiated and you capitulated, which is exactly what you should do.
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He said "I want to show you something but don't tell her I showed you" and he sent me a screenshot of her facebook post from this morning.
Don't read anything into it. She's still on her emotional roller coaster and will be for quite some time. What it tells me is she is just -beginning- to come out of the fog and realize that maybe you weren't the source of all her problems after all. But she still has a long, long way to go. There's definitely hope there if you want it, but what you have to do right now is hold firm, stay dark, and DO NOT PURSUE.
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When I got home I read it over and over and actually started crying. I felt like I was stronger then this. I know it's too late since I am divorced, but it made me second guess my decision to some degree. I know I had to get on with my life, but should I have waited longer?
No you've done the right thing. Most WAS's need the "finality" of D before they even begin coming out of the fog.
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I just had no idea she felt this way.
It was just a temporary emotional outburst. And by the way, she 100% knew you would see it and posted it for your benefit. It's her way of keeping you on the hook. Do not acknowledge it in any way, shape or form.
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Since then she's been texting me every couple days with random questions (if you can't tell thats her way of starting a convo? she's weird and too proud...). Sometimes I answer later in the day, sometimes next day, not a priority at all, and keep it straight to the point.
Good, keep it up!
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I said "lets grab lunch". She said "Im working today so I can't but we can another day". Then she said "But remember the problems we had the last time we tried? I don't want that to happen again " I said "There won't be any problems from me", and she said "But what's your intention with this?" I said "nothing" and she said "So?" "You want us to get back together, that's what you want?" and I said "No, it's just lunch".
That's pursuit and you've got to stop all pursuit. Do you know the squirrel analogy? You moved towards her and now she's run back up the tree. Your job is to hold perfectly still and let HER do the approaching.
