Still in Limbo

[Hurt213]

L,

You are kind, you have insight, you are beautiful, and I type all of this, without having ever, and will most likely never cross paths with you in real life.

You say you will never get, how a person can act like your husband has, and still is. Well, you are right, because only he can justify his behavior and his reasons - and you know what, that is a bloody hard thing to realize, because if he thinks its right, then, its right, and nobody can or should convince him otherwise - the world doesn't work that way even though we all wish it did from time to time.

One thing stepped out to me, in your last entry here. and I think maybe, that is because you made it in capitol letters. LET GO, thats right. That is basically all you can do, and should do. Doormats are 2 bucks in the nearest wallmart, and you girl, you are priceless, so dont be that doormat.

Let him live his life, while you find yourself. Let him sort out the mess he is, and do not partake in that journey. Listen to him, try to understand his perspective, but do so, with a very rationel mindset - dont trust his words, validate them but let them pass, and let his actions speak for him, and its pretty clear that his words and actions have not been going in the same direction - which is why we just validate, but believe only half of what they say.

Sort out your life, you sound so strong, but you need to stop being the victim. He hurt you, dear. He hurt you bad. But you know what, get up, make a list of what needs to happen for you RIGHT now, in order to not depend on him for anything, in order for you to be in a state, where you are in control of you, that will empower you greatly. Start working on that list. Set up deadlines, because that will keep you focused on completing those goals, instead of sliding back when emotions kick in, and you feel sad, hurt and like the world is too much.

Be that independant woman, who takes charge, who creates a life for you and your family (f... him for now, NO not literally) - and then he will see in time, that you are who we all see, a special, kind, and loving woman who deserves someone who appreciates all your qualities.

Maybe that will knock him off the rails, and realize what he lost, and maybe, you dont care by then. If you do, then you have an entirely new view on your life, and you will be able to rationalize by then, if he is really worth betting on. I am sure, a lot would have to change when you are at that place in time.

Hugs!