FS - I think I can cop to being dismissive at times...and I definitely neglect our MR. Of course there are a thousand reasons...but no real excuses. I have to find a way to make my peace with that. As always...a work in progress.
Nicole - From what I’ve read about your H, I am not surprised you aren’t feeling very forgiving towards him. He is unbelievably arrogant in the way that he has treated you. My H, on the other hand, has been pretty decent to me all things considered. He has had flashes of brutal and thoughtless behaviour - the blow up over his made-up date of separation, his request that I hurry things along so he can buy a property he wants, his characterization of our marriage as something that is “hanging over his head”, telling his mom that having 50% parents will be “good for them” [translation - “good for me”], etc... but generally he has been fair with respect to our financial settlement and he has been really good to our kids and helpful when it comes to driving them places even when they are technically with me. Honestly, I think FS is right. His biggest offence is that he is a coward and it led him to digging a hole so deep he could not see any other way out of it except to cut and run. He can’t escape himself however. If he is going to be the “good person” he says he is trying to be, sooner or later, he will have to do the work.
Sigh... my S11 just came to tell me that he thinks he might be depressed. I asked why and he tells me that he doesn’t want to hurt his dad’s feelings by telling him that he doesn’t want to go to his house and he just wants to be at home. I just hugged him and told him it will be better when dad buys his new house and he has his own room. He then said that he doesn’t want to have to miss me. Heart...break...how is this my life?
