Yes, tell him that you won't be in a relationship with secrets. Or, better yet, show him. Because you've told him before, but you are still in a relationship with secrets.
I suck at boundaries. In this situation, I would show him by being done?
Originally Posted by ovrrnbw
Last Saturday I was very scared that what I was about to say was going to cause my W to leave me. Eventually, I was able to look her, and my fear, in the eye and say that "If you think it's OK for married people to go and get a BF/GF, then I can't be with you." And then you have to leave it at that.
Saying, "If you think it's ok to keep secrets from your significant other, then I can't be with you.", and then what? He decides whether he can have a secret-free relationship?
Originally Posted by ovrrnbw
I know you believe what you are saying here, about the secrets and what it takes to have a decent relationship. But when you go home to him, you break from your own beliefs. Why?
Have you thought about what I said in regards to the trick up his sleeve?
He always seems to twist things to the point that I think I overreact to things. This is actually why I didn't call him back last night. I didn't want anything turned around or for him to say "It wasn't really a big deal." I don't know why I break from my beliefs. I would like to consider myself a strong person, maybe I'm not.
I do seriously wonder if he has a trick up his sleeve. I do think he wants me and this relationship, but he wants it on his terms. He wants to be the king and for me to essentially follow this path of perfection that he creates in his head. He wants me to be a lost puppy and following his every command. Maybe he wants to see how far he can push, and I let him. Maybe I am wrong, but that's how I feel. I think the child support situation and others is all about control. He wants to control when and how much money he provides.
