staying the course

[ovrrnbw]

You need to just tell her that you don't believe it is right for a married person to have a BF/GF. If she stills has one, you can't be with her. Then you have to stop being with her.

If she didn't want OM to contact her she'd block his #. And that's probably something you should have her do if you guys are ever to work out. But again you're not forcing her to do this, it's just something she needs to do in order to be with you. You aren't laying down your boundaries, or you just don't have any boundaries. You have to discuss NC with the OM. You can't hide from it.

She said it was over and deleted his contact...but did say they were still friends.

And you are still with her? Still there for her. Time for hardball. You have no respect for yourself if you can stay with her while they are "friends". You still sleep next to her while she texts and remains "friends" with OM? That is disgusting. You have to decide if you're ready to stop living like this.

All your focus is on her and what she's doing, now it's time to lay down and enforce your boundary. If she can't roll with it, cool - no big deal. Just go GAL and move on. Maybe file for divorce, that part is up to you.