So here we go again cycling straight back to depression. Been good for last few days but today it’s just come back and hit me again .i am totally and utterly cheesed off with this cycling I really wish I was strong enough to call it a day with her and be done with it all but I know that even then it probably won’t stop the cycling . I try and do my best to detach but it is just so difficult to do so. I know through this site and others I have joined that we’re all going through this together but sometimes you just feel so alone that it gets the better of you especially when you’ve got crazy thoughts running through your mind. I don’t think I’m doing this detaching right because she phones up last night and says she’s coming round to the house and I know soon as she’s there all the emotions start and I find myself unable to stop the cycling the next day so I know it’s her that’s triggering them . I think the next time she says she wants to come round for something or other I’m going to decline and say no and although it will probably cause a row but I need to do it for myself . I don’t think im going to move forward otherwise maybe I’m not to sure but reading up seems to fit the bill .
