To be honest with you I don't think anything has changed other then they you may have been secretly getting your hopes up that he may be having second thoughts.
I was going to say the same thing. Nothing changed at all, he was already "done" with the M so there was no new revelation in this R talk at all. Every R talk that the LBS initiates is really just a temperature check. It's the LBS saying "have you changed your mind yet?" But no, they have not changed their mind. If they do then you won't have to ask them about it because THEY will make it clear to YOU that they've decided they want the M.
And that aside, everything he says is just a reflection of how he feels in that particular moment anyway. He was done yesterday, he's done today. That doesn't mean he's done tomorrow or next month or next year. This happens all the time where the WAS is absolutely adamant they are done and they say so over and over again. Right up until the LBS finally let's go and then suddenly the WAS isn't so sure.
You all are correct. He never once said he wanted the M. Just that he loves me, is going through something, is confused, misses me, can't understand how I can just cut him off, blah blah blah. He has said all kind of crap...he wants out of the M but isn't sure if he wants a D.
But I get it, I took the words that he was saying and turned them into hope for our M. Bad idea!
I guess I have to start all over with the detachment and going dark again. I can't bear to go through this emotional pain again so this time I have to be consistent. Time to truly work on letting go. I thought I had done that and I was on the right path but I let him pull me back in. That is my fault, not his.
Original BD: 10/26/2017 PA: 10/2017 - 11/2017 Second BD: 09/15/2018 Currently: IHS M: 42 H: 45 S: 22 lives on his own D: 18 away at college S: 15 still lives at home - the only child we share together
