(((Living))). Those talks really, really s#ck. My H pretty much yelled at me that he wants to be divorced by the summer because he wants to date [guilt free] and not have this “hanging over his head”. Thirteen years together... now just something hanging over his head that he needs to rid himself of. It hurts beyond belief.
Yes...you have to pick yourself up. Same game plan. Nothing has changed except that you had an R talk when he is clearly in the same frame of mind that he was at BD. You don’t know how this is going to end up but you do know that nothing is going to change overnight. You have done really well with the 180s but it seems like you have done them in order to get your H to change his mind instead of doing them for you. Ultimately, of course, you would like to save your marriage but the only chance you have to do that is to let him go. Give him space and time. Get busy. Get out of the house... a lot. Stop worrying about and wondering what he is thinking or doing. Treat him like he is your roommate. Take care of yourself and let him take care of himself. Don’t ask questions that you may not want the answer to. When/if his feelings start to change, you will know it. Until then, live life for you and your S. Right now it is going to take a lot of effort and you aren’t going to feel like doing it. It will get easier, I promise. (((HUGS)))
