Hi Ovrrnbw, I don't really communicate with my husband nowadays but in the past I was definitely too soft. It's my fault. The hard part is when someone you love just snaps and changes and you don't even realize that your old approach no longer works. It's also hard to accept that someone you love and trust is exploits your kindness. I've done a lot of things wrong but I've also concluded that whether I'd used DB methods, no methods, pursuit, or any other method it probably wouldn't have made a huge difference. If someone is having an affair and they're in love with someone else there's not much you can do.
I think you missed the line where I said I have more in common with the type of guys that come to this forum! Ha ha. I don't know why but I haven't met any American guys in person that seem compatible but there's always a possibility! I think since I see my future elsewhere I have to stop thinking that someone here would limit the possibility of going back overseas again...maybe there are guys here who'd be open to that. Who knows. In your case Ovrrnbw if you ever find yourself single I'd say you'll do great because you've shown everyone here in this forum how thoughtful, rational, humorous, supportive, wise, and open minded you are which are all traits that women love.
I'll be the first to admit I'm not good at romance and dating issues at all. Therefore I'd appreciate a few words of advice kind of like Ballast. There's a guy from Europe that I met on a different site back in August or September. His long-time partner left him and his situation is much like ours here. We traded contact info and we were texting for a few months but just about the kind of stuff we discuss here on this forum....dealing with the exes, trying to move on, kids, single parenting, etc... Then one day he just didn't respond. Oh well. That was months ago. A few weeks ago when I found out about the other women living in our home I was really upset so I texted this guy and told him. He responded immediately and then over the course of the week we started talking about our updates and we traded a lot of photos. He's really handsome! Then he sent me a video of him teaching his kid English. Anyway, it seemed like we re-connected on a deeper, more personal level and I just barely started to think "maybe we should meet in person" when I complimented him on how he's handsome and a great dad and he just disappeared again. This whole world of communicating via text just makes no sense. There are a lot of times when I'm late responding to someone or forget to respond to certain things and vice versa so I guess this is normal in all contexts but this guy was showing interest in me and said I was beautiful, smart, etc.. and then he's just gone. I don't think I'll waste time texting anyone I don't know in person in the future.
When I tried the dating app a few weeks ago I made plans to meet up with the guy who was happy to get divorced right away. I'm glad I did because there would have been no use texting him. But sometimes you don't want to limit yourself to whoever is in your immediate vicinity and there might be a long distance so then what? I don't feel very hopeful about dating and I already wasn't enthusiastic. These are the days when you just miss being married and having a partner because it's just so overwhelming to think about ever meeting anyone again and yet it's overwhelming to think about just being alone as well.
