Acceptance and forgiveness do take a while to fully embrace or believe within yourself. Back and forth you will alternate, eventually you will get there. I do understand your lack of loquaciousness, things are settling and yes words just don’t seem to fit - and that isn’t quite it either. That is a pretty strong sign of your emotional journey progressing.
Intellectually we understand. Emotionally we accept. Acceptance is emotional understanding.
When we understand we will know it. When we accept we will feel it. Two different and separate cars, tightly intertwined.
I wish to share with you the progress on my spiritual path.
At first I prayed for W to wake up, to get better, to return. The usual stuff I suspect. I then realized I was being rather selfish regarding my wants. I also figured God knows my true desires so me continually pestering Him is not really helpful or needed, so I changed my prayers.
I turned to prayers of asking for strength, guidance, patients, blessings, for me and my family and loved ones. And yes that included W, even spelled that out specifically.
Real progress in my journey happened when I changed my prayers again. Up to this point I had been asking for. The later of these askings were noble, honourable, and from a desire for growth. I changed my prayers to giving thanks.
My prayers became, and still are, of giving thanks for His blessings and in the answering of my previous prayers. Answers are not in the way I wanted, they are in the way I needed. Prayed for strength, got obstacles to overcome. Prayed for patience, got trying times to work through. Prayed for guidance, and people were placed on my path with ideas, suggestions, and advice. People like you (and a great many others here).
Prayers are answered.
The good Father, He teaches us, He doesn’t do it for us. If we listen and learn the lessons, we gain strength, patience, and wisdom. We learn and gain the ablility to stand on our own with an almost sadness of not needing His help, and with the realization that He is right there promoting us to that self sufficiency. He is the quiet strength from within.
I know I have many blessings and much to be thankful for. A big step happened when I stopped asking for help and gave thanks for the help I was being given.
The spiritual path is a huge part of forgiveness, compassion, hope, and faith. I am still learning lessons and being the best I will be.
I just thought I’d share with someone who helped me live in the light.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
