Lost

[Jac12]

Hi All,

Thanks in advance as I'm just looking for some help with my situation.

I'm 37, wife 31, 2 year old boy at home.

Dec 9th my wife tells me ILYBINILWY, we don't connect anymore and half of her wants to run from responsibilities.

Feb 1st - we separate as she moves out into a condo near work. For now, our boy stays with me at the house during the week and I take him to daycare. I work nights, so she picks him up and brings him back to our house. When I get home from work around 8pm, she goes back to her place. Weekends we will alternate time with our son. So I see her still quite often.

A few things from the past two months:

Her dad has lung cancer and came back from a trip mid November in rough shape, he just wasn't himself. She started to distance herself from him later that month as she felt he was no longer the same person. Her and her dad are really close. We find out Dec 20th that he has brain cancer and 3-6 months to live. Over the holidays we were there every day but once the new year hit she distanced herself again. Doesn't check in daily with her mom to see how she can help or even to talk to her dad.

Also had been distancing herself over the past couple months from our son - just not a lot of quality time together and she doesn't facetime him at morning or night when she's not with him.

I've done a lot of soul searching in my role in this and I admit I didn't keep the fire burning that well and likely had some resentment showing when it came to caring for our kid. In her mind I wasn't doing things right or playing safe enough with him and that bothered me as I thought she was thinking that I wasn't a capable father. I also was too far in the future planning everything and often I don't think she felt her viewpoint was appreciated enough. I've been working on that.

She recently said she doesn't know who she is. She doesn't think she's right for me. The old her was sad and she wants the new and improved version. She's never been on her own in her life, she's always had a boyfriend and she wants to know what that is like to be single in her own place.

She was sexually assaulted in high school and never talked to a therapist. May be some post-partum and possibly depression now. She knows she needs to talk to someone but is scared to start the conversation for fear of breaking down completely (her words). She said she wants to see if the separation helps her to realize what she may be missing.

I'm trying to keep all interactions with her positive. I'm doing by best to "act as if". I've asked her flat out about an affair, as has her brother, and she says No that she just needs to figure out who she is and what she wants. She did start a new job January 2018 and she's making great money (now the breadwinner of the family).

Anything else I should be aware of?

Thank you.