My XH didn't tell his family that he was leaving me - I did. At first they seemed as shocked and dismayed as I (or at least MIL was) but as the MLC deepened they made the choice to stick by him. He never really cut off ties with them though.
I have no idea what has been said or done between them now, but whatever it was I am now totally out of their lives - even though I live in the same town, house their blood relatives (my sons), and have offered a number of olive branches. They will speak to me on the street, but they will not include me in any family activities even when there is no chance of XH and his OW attending.
Whatever this crisis is, I don't think it's tied up with FOO issues. XH's father was definitely physically abusive when XH was a boy, but they still see each other whenever they can. XH's mother was always very supportive of him - she always defended him against his father and she always spoke well to him.
For these reasons I'm with AndrewP on this one. On the basis that there is no evidence to point to anything else, I have to conclude that XH is a selfish, entitled jerk.
