I know that you need practical advice, but I just want to say that I felt the knife that sliced straight through your heart when you read that note, and I send you a ((((((Kate11)))))) hug eleven times over.

I myself would not answer at all. I would be pleasant when you see him but not answer. This is only possible if you pray constantly, in my experience! God will give you that peace.

If he is going to D, you will need to have a lawyer's help. And if he doesn't, it's limbo anyway. So what answer is there that might be undone anyway later, unless he asks for information. If he asks you to answer, you could answer then. But for now, what do you need to say?

I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord with courage.
Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.