DV - thank you. I agreed with D12 this morning that she could have her phone today to delete anything she did not want me to see on the condition that going forward, she give her code to her dad and I and that we could look at it at any time. I felt that this way she felt she had some control over what was happening and that I was putting trust in her to do the right thing. She seemed happy with this. I doubt very much there is anything too serious on there. My H looked at the account when he was snooping on her phone and didn't find anything but bad language and some confused sexual references (which strikes me as more likely to be written by actual children then adults pretending to be children). In any case, she was smiling again when I handed her her phone. It all went a bit pear shaped as just before we left she decided to fill her water bottle with strawberry water and it overflowed straight into a drawer. I didn't lose my temper, tried to wipe it up as best as I could and said she needed to take more care. unfortunately, that one statement was enough to get her back up and she went into silent mode again. From the few conversations I've had with her she feels like she is always being attacked (by everyone not just me) and that she can't seem to do anything right. Disciplining, I suspect, will be a difficult balance going forward
I have had a day to let my emotions subside - though am glad I did not talk to him today as would definitely have said something I would now be regretting. Unfortunately, I am sure I came across as cold and unemotional. But that's better I guess then going on the attack (which is what would have happened).
