Moving forward

[AndrewP]

Personally I'm on the "selfish jerk" theory more so than "MLC".

Just spoke with her mother. W has alienated herself from the family. They last spoke on her mom's birthday and it did not go well. None of the grandparents have spoken to the kids in over a month unless I call them. Brothers and sister haven't spoken with her in 2 months. They are worried. Is this part of the MLC process? Why won't she reach out to family? That has always been such an important part of her life. It seems she wants to just live out this fantasy no matter who it destroys.

Yes. And anyone who stands between them and their "happiness" is collateral damage.

There are also other layers here that none of us are really qualified to understand. Is there guilt? Shame? Certainly a recurring theme is that they don't want to be "judged". In my case my ex-wife's sister and brother quite supported her having an affair and "having fun". Because they themselves had done so repeatedly. So she grew quite close to her sister who she previously despised for at least a time.

For some I think that once they've "crossed the line" that there is no going back. It would mean facing that they have hurt people including themselves.

No clue what's going on in my ex-wife's life now. It's been about 3 1/2 years since the start of her affair, 4+ probably since she started on the "it's all about me" path and she's cut ties with pretty much everyone except a small group of supporters and has become intensely private on social media.

This is where we have to let go of their journey and outcome lest we get mired up in the mud with them.