(((FS))) Sorry to hear about D12 and your H’s passive aggressive behaviour. It is so tough watching our kids deal with this crap. I also hate my H when I see my kids struggling. My H is like yours... they’ll be fine...just an adjustment...can’t have anything to do with my decisions ‘cause after all, they just want me to be happy. Where is the eye roll emoji when I need it?!?
BTW...I think you handled the situation with your D12 beautifully. I learned the most from my parents when I expected them to come down hard on me and, instead, they responded with empathy and understanding. Important that you continue to do so when you look through her phone and if you see anything questionable, have a conversation about it and about what it means to her. Some kids can be a bit questionable with the words they choose so good to know how it is perceived by your D.
I get how frustrating this is for you. It is interesting to me that your H hasn’t taken any steps to formalize your separation or file for a D. I wonder how long he would be okay to go on like this for. Or would you taking steps to do it be a bit of a wake up call? It could. It could also go the other way. When I was perusing the old threads here, it seemed to me that most of the people who did R, it was usually a couple years after BD. To stand or not, that is the question. I, for one, would love to have had the time that you have had to acclimate to the changes. My H wants to be divorced by the summer so he can date without our marriage “hanging over” his head. No, that’s not hurtful AT ALL. Anyway...onwards and upwards. You have to figure out what is right for you FS. Like I said...I firmly believe he doesn’t really want a D. He’s just too proud to admit it to you...and even more so to himself. (((HUGS)))
