D12 is in the living room in tears. I got a text from my H today saying he'd been looking on her phone and found a second instigram account. It looks like an account she set up to play games, but there are about 200 followers and he didn't recognise any of the names. He said the language was quite bad and that there were comments like "Hey, what are you up to?". He asked me to speak to her about it tonight. I spoke to her and she refused to let me see her phone. She said I wouldn't understand - just kept repeating it. I told her that a condition of having a phone was that both her dad and I could look at it whenever we wanted. She burst into tears and has been crying ever since. I said that I loved her and wanted her to talk to me. She just kept saying I wouldn't understand. She said she was always sad and her phone was her way of escaping. She said it isn't rude or mean, but that I wouldn't understand. I told her I was sorry, that I knew how tough things were for her, that everything was changing (her school, her home, her body, her friends) and that I was here if she needed me. That we both loved her and wanted her to be happy. But - if she didn't show me what was on her phone I would delete all the apps on there. She is still in tears. At one stage, all three of us were sitting on the floor in tears.
It is so unnecessary. I hate him so much right now for putting us through this. Our children are in pain and, when I sent him a text to see if he was home, he replied that he is watching a football game and would call me later. I told him not to bother. We will be fine. The price of his freedom is our children's happiness. They will be ok - but they didn't need to be put through this in the first place.
The weird thing is he was in the house today for five hours. I left at 8 this morning and he turned up at 8:45. I still have that stupid camera he installed after he moved out so I know exactly what time he turned up and what time he left. He was supposed to be just dropping the dog off - he had the dog and the children last night - and stayed for FIVE hours. I was ok with it - I don't have anything to hide so he can snoop if he wants to - but looks like he ate some food from the fridge and watched netflix (his profile was on when I got home). Of course, he had five hours, so could have been snooping as well but mostly, it looks like he was making himself at home. He left just before the nanny was due to come over.
Yesterday, when he came to pick up the kids he was here for less than ten minutes. He was 30 mins late and when I asked him (nicely) to text me when he knew he'd he late, he got in a mood, saiid "come on girls we have to go" and turned around and walked back out. The day before (sat) when he dropped them off, he was running late and didn't even stop. He just dropped them off, waited until I opened the door, and drove off. I think he might have been late for work or annoyed because I had been out the night before, but really, it doesn't matter the reason, his behaviour is just plain rude. When things aren't going to plan, he gets in a huff and drives away.
He is a coward and hates conflict. He would rather get defensive, play the victim or go on the attack, and then run away before anyone can say anything back.
