Into The Great Wide Open

[DonH]

It's a game of numbers, you've got to message 100 to talk to 20 or 30, and out of those you might meet 4 or 5 and 1 or 2 of those might be worth seeing again. It's a ton of work and takes a ton of time, so prepare yourself!

OMG - this is soooooo true! But then step back and think about it - and then say 'Oh by all means, sign me up for that - it sounds like so much fun!" And then thing is, those number are perhaps only inflated a bit - but the radios are very much on - perhaps even a bit optimistic. Think about that. you have to send 100 messages in hopes of getting 20 responses. I have to tell you, that can even sometimes be optimistic unless you are counting the "sorry not interested" responses as "responses". So few will respond. And of those yes you might meet a few. Those are about my numbers to the T. I don't know how many messages I sent over the years but absolutely, positively it was over 100 (I tired OLD off and on for a half dozen years) I went out with at least 10 women - probably closer to 15. I wanted a second date with one or two of them but they were not interested. The others I was not interested. So to go back and try that again.... wow, yeah, like I said, sign me up for that. I hate to be such a Donnie Downer but it is really pretty accurate.

Then let's add in how many lied about who or what they are. How many ghosted. How many had old photos up. On and on. By comparison Jospeh is not doing too bad, although he's overlooked red flags I would not have and gave more women chances that I would have been long out yet he's had more second dates than I have. Ginger it took many, many years with the current guy looking good but that chapter has not been written yet. Dawn seems to have found what she is looking for. So it does happen. But you really have to change your mindset and you really have to not allow yourself to get sucked in. You have to stick to your guns on things so if you hear "I"m not ready to meet yet" I guess I can't say walk away but most certainly don't say "ok okay, you're not ready to meet in person so here's my life story and all of my deep thoughts." Think about that!