LBS dealing with WW (part 7) (piecing?)

[joejoe1]

Joe,

I'm right there with you partner!!!!! You DB like a champ then you get into recon and all that confidence and certainly start to feel like it just vanish.

You start questioning yourself and decisions you have made. Was allowing her back in the right choice? You start telling yourself, I have a lot of attention from all kind of women/people, why would I want to be with a person that betrayed me. You start too cycle and have mounting amounts of intrusive thoughts. Thoughts that take you low as sh!t.

Then you become a person that tries to show your W how you feel, you want them to feel what you felt. You are consumed with trying to believe them and at the same time have some type of revenge, so they can know exactly what it feels like to hurt that bad.

You look at your W and and say to yourself, ewwwwwwww. What am I doing with this woman!!!! She disgust me, and five mins later you say I love her. Then that cycle continues all day, and you ask yourself, "what's wrong with me". I was so certain I wanted her back. The flooding of emotions are real and powerful.

This is what I have learned. People feelings change all the time, many different times a day. Your ExWNewGF feelings are that she loves you. Most likely true. Can those feelings change, yes. And that's what scares us. Changing feelings. That's why DB is so important it allows you too realize that nothing is certain and guaranteed. Knowing that nothing is certain helps us check our azimuth every so often too ensure what are still going down the right path. Before DB we allow unhealthy attachment to become our way of life. Now you know there's a way to attach in a healthy way, knowing that life holds no guarantee cards. Your W as well as yourself will always have changing feelings and knowing that now, allows you to correct course and understand that doesn't mean you can't make things right if the ship goes off course every now and again.

Your W has seen you strong and going thru this process she will see you in a weak vulnerable state too. She will see you pick yourself up. You will tell yourself, why I keep asking her these questions, I'm blowing it. I'm weak as hell. I thought I could just get over it and move on. But you won't just move on, because you will have to know. Until you realize, you already know and don't need to know. Crazy, I know.(That whole paragraph is a cycle). Allow yourself, to be angry, sad, mad, hurt, happy, joyful, playful, horny, disgusted and loving.

All those thoughts and feelings will subside and you will learn how to move thru them, and work them out.

I find myself cycling as well. We are over a year and a half at recon, BLU is years ahead of us, and we both still have the same thoughts, but mines come less and less. I think about so many other things now. Making money, going on trips, food, eating healthy. My days aren't consumed with the cycling no more.

Blu post is awesome! You can read hers over and over.

Remember there's only one direction that helps with healing and that's forward, going backwards always is hurtful and stunts healing.

Keep going!!!

Onward and upward