you guys reading that sure doesn't help me. you guys really dont think that you can love again ? I really dont wanna hear that . that suxs
Keep in mind when you read these posts that EVERYONE is different. Just because one person doesn't think they can find love or maybe doesn't even want to, doesn't mean that you can't/won't. Everyone heals and moves on at their own pace...the pace that is right for them. If you go back and read some of the posts here in this section, you will see how people have developed and grown and how their sense of the word love has been shaped and changed by their experiences.
There are plenty here who have found love and a few that choose not to, but again, everyone is different.
Juju, I think that is interesting the way you posed the question. Can you really love someone again when you are no longer vulnerable to be hurt again? I had to think about that when I read it because my gut instinct was at what point are you not vulnerable anymore? I think D makes one more cautious in looking for love again for sure. I think it makes us more selective and more open to the possibility of finality in a relationship rather than just tiptoeing through a relationship thinking it will never end because it is "serious". I think the only time I wasn't necessarily vulnerable to being hurt was when I was SO hurt by my XH that I just couldn't imagine ever being with someone else again. I went through a period of about a year post D when I wouldn't have dated if the sexiest man alive had shown up at my door and thrown money at me to get me to go. I would've politely closed the door and moved on. Even then, I was vulnerable, but not necessarily vulnerable to being hurt by someone else because I was still processing the hurt of losing my marriage, if that makes sense.
I agree with kml too....once I went through the D process, the love I feel now is different than what I felt before. I have a more open-eyed approach to dealing with people. I hesitate to say I'm a little more suspicious of people, but I guess that is technically what it is.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
