So, last week saw H car on our high street on a lunchtime. This usually means a bank run for him. Decided to wait for him as he hasn't replied to requests for information since November.
Yorkie, sorry but I am not completely up on your sitch, do you have a lawyer? If you do then use your L to get whatever info you need since your H is not cooperating. If you don't then get one! This comes off as very stalkerish and there was just no way it was going to end well.
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20 minutes later got a call from OW to berate me for not having better timing. Oh the irony!! Apparently she was upset having just been to a funeral and so thought that I should have had more consideration. I did get her to acknowledge in the end that I didn't owe her any consideration at all and a conversation with my H was just that ie nothing to do with her.
Amongst other things she told me that my children needed to grow up because people had affairs all the time and that I needed to stop poisoning them against their father. It was suggested that I needed to ensure that they had a R with their father moving forward because he was a 'man' and therefore needed guidance.
Stop the long convos with OW. What purpose does that serve?
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However, it struck me last night from things that were said that H and I are being somewhat manipulated by OW.
I don't think your H is being manipulated, but they are BOTH manipulating YOU. That's why you need to distance yourself. Block OW from your phone. Don't hang out places waiting to see if you cross paths with H.
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I can't really work out why when a decision has been made to move on following an irretrievable break down of the marriage, he still cannot bring himself to do the 'decent' thing.
Because he has moved on and started a new life with OW and you are an "unwelcome intrusion" into his little fantasy. Don't expect him to be decent, if he was he wouldn't be having an affair in the first place. Protect yourself.
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Unrealistic thinking???
Unfortunately, yes. He's not who he used to be. He's not the H you knew. You've got to stop expecting him to act like he is.
