Also, just a general question for everyone dating following trauma.... how do you not go for the seemingly stable person over looks and other qualities. How come you guys dont have the same fears that i do? Arent you guys worried about dating another version of your ex? Or is that not a huge fear?
It's definitely something to be on the watch for.
The first guy I dated after my divorce was a Love Avoidant, which meant he wasn't truly available, but he was nicely different from my ex in most ways.
The crazy ex-bf that I dated for four years turned out to be living a double life.
I wasn't looking to remarry and frankly, nothing since my divorce could hurt as much as that did.
The only relationship that reminded me at all of my ex turns out to be my current one with CMM. He's turning out to be a lot like my ex in some ways and it's causing some friction. Some of it is just me because if he acts the least little bit like my ex I'm just like "I'm over it!". I know my extreme reaction is due to a bit of ptsd from my ex.
