Finding the Balance then Tipping the Scale (TWO)

[Adam04]

FS,

I woke up, read that and felt a flutter of feelings. I started to initially doubt myself and questioned what I had done. My insecurities and fear of the unknown was starting to emerge. Was I being too impulsive or am I reckless?

I thought maybe I should have given myself more time. Was this to build up more confidence to face the unknown or talk myself down and out of something?

I wasn't thinking about the convo I had with W, it was about the convo I had with my son. It's no longer about W and I, it's my continuous relationship with my children as their father. I was afraid I may have jumped the gun with him, S11...making promises too soon that I couldn't keep.

I don't know what the logistics will be over the summers and how they will be shuffled from her place, daycare, afterschool programs, to my place but one thing still remains is that I want more time with my kids and will fight for that. The biggest fear here is failure when it comes to my boys. I don't want for them to think I never fought for them or that they were never good enough.

Today I talked to W again about the finances, she was wanting to make some agreements before talking to lawyers. We discussed it and are on the same page that it's best for her to get legal advice for now to help ease her mind and 50/50 is the minimum. I told her once she gets the facts and if she has a plan, she can discuss it with me and I can run it by a lawyer too.

FS, my wife is a good person but for now she has joined the dark side. She offered to pay me back child support and the courts wouldn't have to know. She is willing to lie and do things for me. I am by the book, rigid like that to a fault. I told her I am not going to do anything under the table.

Yes, I am relying on caloric deficit for weight loss. Emotions have helped to drive this. As I am no longer an emotional wreck, I am stabilizing and I have to change up my game. I am beginning to eat a little more, but that's about it... oh and adding oatmeal.. ugh.

R2C,

Thank you for helping me separate that. Makes it easier to look at and digest.

I'm going to look for these worksheets and use this format with W so that we can tackle this together, not immediately.

This is what I plan to do. Not bring it up until she does. Once she talks about it, I will have researched these worksheets and kinda have gotten an idea what to separate or not. I think once we approach this ( brain fart on a good word here) reasonably, amicably, and fairly, I will feel better. It should help her feel better too.


Thank you so much for the support and advice everyone.