She wanted an explanation, to which I responded that being friends in the future may be possible, but at the moment it was too much of an emotional burden for me.
YES!! Perfect answer.
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The big mistake happened the next day. I keep a couple journals, one for gratitude, another for writing and processing my emotions. In the latter, I had wrote about my feelings towards maintaining a friendship - in a moment of weakness, I decided to email this with my W so that she could understand my feelings on the situation.
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Anyway, I really messed that one up. I'm emotional over it, I tend to get really bad anxiety when situations get too emotionally charged especially with my W - one of my action items is to practice greater emotional courage.
Well, you see your mistake and if it's not repeated, then I don't think it will do as much damage as you are probably imagining at the moment. I recommend that in the future when you feel the urge to email her something along these lines, you run it by the board first. It's not that the board should make your decisions, but it gives you a waiting period.....plus you get other views about it. When you are emotionally involved, it is difficult to always make the best move. I also recommend that you not do nothing for 72 hours, before you act on it. The good news is that this action brought you back to the board.
So, she said you were not friends.......which lets you off the hook in a lot of ways. Nothing is as presumptuous as a WW! WW's are notorious for cake eating, and think nothing of it when asking the LBH to do certain job. However, she fired you from the position of H. Here's the thing, the WW will want you to continue feeling as if it's your duty to do things for her, but she doesn't reciprocate in the same way. Sometimes it takes a number of reality stings before the WW gets the picture of how her life will be without her H.
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I keep my ring on for whatever reason. It used to be as a show that reconciliation was still my goal, but at this point keeping it on is a burden that I endure purely because of my convictions.
It's a personal decision for you to make......which may sound strange considering I just told you to run decisions by the board.
((hugs))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
