IH, recognition is the first step in changing a behavior. I recently listed in mikeyb's thread a litany of bad behaviors I was guilty of pre BD. And the actions I replaced them with. Once we recognize it we can correct it. So I think your last post offers a glimpse of the self awareness that you are capable of. That's really good. Now, think of ways you can change it.

As far as keeping the MBR and detachment, the two are not mutually exclusive. Detachment is not physical distance, it is not reacting emotionally to what she says and does. In fact, moving to the basement is the opposite of detaching in your case because you are doing it out of an emotional reaction to her not being physically attracted to you right now. What we are trying to get you to see if that attraction is born out of respect, and moving to the basement isn't going to command respect.

Read the detachment thread again. Look at what Sandi posted. Keep learning about true loving detachment. I would suggest googling and studying self differentiation in marriage as well as that's another way of saying detachment.

Oh and you have Sandi's attention. I encourage you to be flattered and honored by that. Sandi is one of the most insightful DB posters on the planet. Pay close attention to get advice, she really knows what she is talking about.

M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018