Sorry about the truck. Sure glad no one got hurt. Lucky it happened in parking lot at low speed.
The subsequent offers from W are interesting. She still watches you. She is confused and didn’t know what to do.
Originally Posted by marina7
W, M I don't understand why we going through this I will forever love you. You are the mother of our kids Am here. M why are you so stubborn why didn't you ask me to help You. That's what always has caused problems between us. Your so Prideful. M just ask that you need me you need help and I'll be there Why can't you just ask.
Remember the MLCer is driven by emotion, so her responses are based on her feelings or her reality at that moment.
Her first sentence is probably true. She doesn’t understand why you two are going through all this. She may have even felt love for you, then.
However, they are master manipulators and she knows you better than anyone else. She knows which buttons to push. I see the remainder of that paragraph as projection. She is prideful and is pushing the blame she cannot handle onto you. I am pretty sure the prideful honourable mindset of a marine is causing her some distress.
Follow her actions, not her words.
And that leads directly into the follow up phone call to tell her you were all safe. It was now a bother to her, and yes OW was probably around and caused a different outlook for her. Her words didn’t match her actions.
Originally Posted by marina7
why Mlcers act differently when around OP Is like two different people.
The OP is like a drug, an escape, for them. While lost in that embrace, running from their pain and demons, they are someone else for sure. Remove the OP, the drug, the escape - the will become someone else.
The MLCer is equating their happiness, their new life, with the OP and the affair. While caught up in those feelings they are fully justified in their minds to vilify you. They can blame you again, you are the reason, their old life is the reason, etc... Their tirades sometimes contain kernels of truth, something the LBS can choose to work on, for the most part it is projection of their pain into you. The venting of the MLCer is good, it helps to get it out of them.
When the MLCer is alone, they can think. They do not want that. However, in time, slowly, they process. Bit by bit, in the quiet of night, in the time wondering about their kids in a broken truck in the cold, or in times between running and escapes. While they are forced to face things, they look for escapes. Anything to quell their mind. You saw a little glimpse of that in her conversation.
If and when infatuation with OP runs its course and ends. That particular escape or drug will loose its potency. They may run further or they may look within. There will be a time without the OP’s affect or influence and they will “think and feel”.
You are correct with the observation of two different people. I, and my kids, have spoken to four different versions of my W, four different people living within her. it is super weird to watch someone transform right in front of you, right in the middle of a conversation. That must be so confusing inside her own head, it’s confusing enough outside of it.
Remember: They are running from themselves - always. This has nothing to do with you. They will project, blame, justify, vilify, anger, rage, whatever - and always are runnng from themselves.
One cannot escape themselves.
Best of luck with the truck repairs or new purchase. Continue to face this unfortunate event with grace, dignity, and strength. You should be proud of the example you are showing your children, how a person faces adversity and problems. That holds true for more than the truck situation.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
