W said we could do 50/50 on paper so I wouldn't pay. She even said if we did 50/50 she's be paying me, and I told her I didn't want that and I don't want to shuffle the kids between us at this age.
Adam, it's time for some truth darts my man. FIGHT FOR YOUR KIDS. You have two sons, 6 and 11? They need their dad right now far more than they need their mom. Let me tell you how this is going to play out if you let your W have the kids full time. You see them a couple of days every other weekend. Your W moves OM in (of course right now she will tell you she doesn't want to date and never sees getting married again and blah blah blah whatever it takes to keep you compliant) and guess who wants to be their "dad" now, yes the dude that's around them 12 days out of 14. How do you think that will make you feel? You're living in some crap apartment by yourself while your W is living it up in a nice place with the kids and OM, basically she expelled you from the family and replaced you. You should be fighting for AT LEAST a 50-50 visitation as well as 50-50 split of everything else.
Please understand this- YOU CANNOT APPEASE YOUR W INTO COMING BACK. Don't think that if you are gentle and let her have her way in S and D that it will earn you any brownie points, it absolutely will not. In fact more often than not it makes the WAS have even LESS respect for the LBS. She sees him being a wimpy pushover instead of manning up and fighting for his rights.
Quote
I want them in one home.
Great, then fight for 100% custody!! MAN UP. Look I know this is tough, but you've got to dig deep and do right by your sons. They need you now more than ever.
Quote
I also told her that I get what she is trying to do for me, but I was not going to lie to get ahead and I have no issues paying to help take care of my boys. She said she didn't want to see me settle for a crappy place somewhere. I was quiet. She said maybe if we wrote in the decree that she didn't want the child support it would help. I told her I don't think that would work but we'll figure it out when we get to that point.
If she's offering you more than half or more than you think you deserve out of some sense of guilt then TAKE IT. Again, you cannot "nice" her back. If you just roll over and let her have everything then in the end you are only hurting your boys and yourself. Take whatever you can get and make as good a life as possible for your boys.
