LBH Looking for Help and Guidance

[JB42]

My WW has been asking me for favors since this whole thing started, and I've been obliging until earlier this week.

OMG so she fires you as a husband, moves out, and then you're OK in the friendzone coming along to fix stuff for her? I don't know how you're OK with that. You really need to read NMMNG about 100 times. She's wayward. She has an OM that she likes to say is post separation. Yea, right. He's sleeps with her and you take care of errands. She thinks you are her B!+ch.

Fair assessment, which is why I stated my position on not doing personal favors.

I asked that we do not ask personal favors from one another outside of childcare/things left at the house.

You asked? You asked???!!! She is seeing you as so so so weak. You have to stop asking a cheating spouse who doesn't want you if it's ok to do what you want.

I stated that we should not be doing personal favors and that I will no longer be doing any for her - I used the term ask in the forum as I cannot control whether or not she continues to ask for my help.

She blew up, asked if we were still friends

I hope you said we are not friends.

The proper reaction is to not care if she blows up. Most cheaters don't like the truth. And it's not your job to bring that truth to her doorstep, but if she brings the BS to your doorstep you smack it down with the backhand of the truth.

Fair - I kept my cool and didn't allow her to take control of the situation like she normally did during the M.

I told her that at the moment I was undecided on remaining her friend

Wwweeaaaakkkkk.

I could go on and on. Everything you do keeps you in the friendzone. You are clinging to her, trying desperately to hang on for a little bread crumb or table scrap while some other guy is sleeping with her. Come on man!

I disagree - my mind isn't made up on the decision, but I maintained that it is my decision to make. A pretty strong position if you ask me. A friendship, at least a surface level one, would benefit the kids.

one of my action items is to practice greater emotional courage.

I don't know many strong men that use words like this. Are you working in a Fortune 500 company giving some presentation, or do you talk like this all the time?

I'm actually in the military and I know quite a few strong men and women that use words and phrases like this. I don't use them in casual conversation, but they are useful in assessing and addressing weak points (and strong points). Having a concrete definition allows concrete action.

I keep my ring on for whatever reason. It used to be as a show that reconciliation was still my goal, but at this point keeping it on is a burden that I endure purely because of my convictions.

Put it away where you can't see it. You need to forget about her and go out with your buddies or make new buddies. You need to go be around men and enjoy doing man stuff. Tell them how you keep trying to be her friend, how she is a cheater, how she moved out and watch their facial expressions. Maybe some will be frank enough to tell you what you are doing is crazy. I sure would.

I'm doing alright on the manly stuff front, could probably do with making more friends that are men though. I will keep the ring on. If I cannot live up to my own morals, values, and convictions - why even have them? That's not living in integrity to myself.