Still foggy, still going (Phoenix9 DB XI)

[Adam04]

P,

I'm in the middle when it comes to talking to W about how we feel on something , like not being her friend if she leaves. I do find it important to stated it when it has impact and not overly keep stating it to diminish its value. I think it can command some respect so that's why I say this.

I also hear what Sandi is saying about how she felt H was a nice guy so probably didn't believe he would not be her BFF, so in some ways the current actions have to make her feel like you're serious in what you're saying.

Going back to respect, Sandi, was it too much going on to know if the initial shock of it was also the period when you gained a little respect for your H? In looking back, was there any respect you did gain from that for him and do you know when? Was it after reflection and when you decided to do the right thing?

I wanted to also say, regardless of how it makes W feel or when, I think it's healthy to know what is the right thing to do and do it, period. When the spouse is in the right frame of mind they can see you were too.