Lawyers and courts have a way of slowing things down
At least months and sometimes years depending on complexity
The consultation with your L will enlighten you
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
Lawyers and courts have a way of slowing things down
At least months and sometimes years depending on complexity
The consultation with your L will enlighten you
She has made it known she wants to go the mediator route. Not sure how much that changes things time wise - all i have researched so far is that it is cheaper and preferred if H and W are willing to work together peacefully to settle this?
She will not like anything that is less than full agreement with her plan
Not your problem
Time is on your side
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
Thanks Gordie. 3 years ago eh? wow. My W is ummm what you might say 'strong willed'. When she makes up her mind she more or less does not go back/change it. I would be surprised if this sitch lasts 3 months (including the current 1 month since BD).
Yea, they are all gung ho at first. Some people add more pressure and some people give space. And the old saying is to believe nothing they say and only half of what they do. Plenty of people recon after divorce too.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
sv, my wife also said she didn't want my money. She also said she wanted me to keep the house. I eventually told her we were splitting everything 50/50. Money. Retirement funds. Selling house and splitting equity. I told her this was only fair.
WWs in particular try to ease their own conscience. Not wanting the H's money is one of the ways they do that. Don't be greedy, even in mediation insist she get her fair share. Sometimes a little guilt will jar them out of their fog.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I guess I do have a direct question - should I be meeting with some D ATTY at this point to get ahead?
Yes, knowledge is power.
Quote
She has mentioned she 'does not want me money and just wants to have a friendly D and what is best for the kids..."
Yes my ex told me much the same. Then we negotiated a very fair (to both of us) settlement and she had it drawn up. Then in the 11th hour when it was ready for her signature she decided I owed her much, much more. Don't believe anything until her signature is on the paper and it's in your hands. A WAS can turn on a dime, whether that means deciding they want to recon or deciding they want to screw you over. Be ready for anything.
Quote
.... I have enough to buy her out of the worth of this house and also able to pay for the current mortgage on my own (do it already) but I am not looking forward to refi since right now I have a great rate. What are my options here?
You don't have options, a refi is the only way to get her name off of it.
I have enough to buy her out of the worth of this house and also able to pay for the current mortgage on my own (do it already) but I am not looking forward to refi since right now I have a great rate. What are my options here?
If you have a FHA, VA, or USDA loan, you can assume the loan. You keep all the terms of the loan, you just have to pay the assumption fee. Otherwise your only option is to refi to get her off the loan.
Argh. Nothing like being sick and in bed at one of your lowest points in life, is there?
No real status change. I am wondering if I should be asking her to move out? Although even though we currently aren't speaking in the house together, we are normal around the kids and so far besides my 6yr old asking "Why doesn't Mom want to be around us" now several times they seem unaffected.
