Whatever happens to you whether it's reconciling or not reconciling it will probably be a huge improvement over your old life. I think if more LBS's could look into the crystal ball and see where they will end up they wouldn't be so worried right now.
Thank you, AS.
I do hope you are right about this. I am trying to make the changes in myself necessary to be strong(er) and get through this as best as I can—and for the boys.
Originally Posted by AnotherStander
It has a way of waking you up, making you question everything you thought you knew and change your views, shakes you out of your complacency, makes you value the things you used to take for granted. It's a period of huge growth and discovery. Most people who are very successful in life credit adversity for giving them the drive to get there. They don't cry about having gone through it, they talk about how it hardened them and gave them steely determination. Now there is no question it's pure misery to go through something like this. It's horrible, maybe the worst thing you'll ever go through. But you can use it to your advantage.
When my parents S / D when I was 22, before my senior year of undergrad, I made a promise to myself not to let that sink me.
And I didn’t. I pulled some of the best grades of my undergrad career, spent more time with friends, set new priorities, figured out the next chapter of my life (grad school over law school), and made a focus of what I wanted to look for in a partner. Though I am sad that it doesn’t appear that that has worked out to this point (I thought I knew what I wanted and thought I chose well—but I guess I didn’t, and I’m really sad about that).
It was a really great time in my life, but it was also very difficult. I radiated confidence, and that became apparent to a young lady who I would later date my first year of grad school.
I hope I can use this to my advantage, too—especially for me and the boys. I hate that they have to go through this—and that W is telling me that our oldest notices that things aren’t right between us.
I have been noticing the smaller changes in myself recently—being more confident in myself, stating what I want more intentionally, dreaming of a future to come.
I should just take it for what it is, but earlier this week I got a couple of compliments on my dress shirts from a couple of female colleagues (one is married)—one for the color (I wear deeply-colored dress shirts because I’m so fair-complected), and another made a comment when I told her that yeah I should probably get some new dress shirts because I’ve lost 30 lbs. and she was all ‘no, it looks great.’
