Stander...thank you for the comments you've provided. They are always insightful and helpful and given how your sitch in some ways is similiar to mine, what you say makes total sense. I was raised in the South. Traditional roles of man/woman and of courtship. The man courted/pursued the lady, the man won the lady's heart, happily ever after. Sadly I believe a very inaccurate depiction of modern day relationships/dating between men and women. The whole idea of my being mysterious, unavailable, etc...I do get the I'm experienced, successful, busy man to win, but compared to my upbringing so much of what works seems so "unempowering" to the man. As with my texting beliefs, clearly society knows better than I and so on this topic as well I'll do my best to understand and learn. It just seems unnatural to me is all. A GF of mine who knows of this new lady told me, unless/until she asks you a question by text, email or phone, sends you a selfie, something...leave her alone. Basically this:
"Be the alpha. Quit being so available. Pull back. She'll probably start pursuing, and if she doesn't then she's not as interested as you thought and it's time to look elsewhere."
That I can do. For myself that is the single best thing I will do. What I've done to now has been all wrong.
DonH...I always appreciate when anyone new provides comments to me so thank you! I hear what you are saying, although I haven't been so hurt, so broken as to try and dive into OLD or ask ladies out or anything like that. I have been perfectly content to ride along by myself with D4...until she came along. Of what I knew/saw...I had to see where it leads. Where it has led so far was WAY faster than I expected. I honestly can't even say how many months I've been over my WW. It has been quite some time for sure simply because she has completely been a ghost to me for a year now. Do I believe that I could be a healthy partner right now? Yes, I do. I only say that because of the fact that I have been working for the past year in IC who has told me in her opinion I am at the point where I could do so IF! the right healthy partner for me came along. Why did I have to? Looks, highly educated, similar interests up front. Going past the looks, other than the light speed with which we progressed, she has shown me many personality/communication traits of a healthy partner. That she has actually recognized our crazy speed and pulled back, even that I take as showing maturity. Is it too soon? Possibly so. Am I whipping around because she went full throttle and then hit the brakes, yep. I am strong enough to know that I can decide these things. As Stander stated above, I can control the pace of this getting to know process if I just let her go. And honestly I'm ok and accepting if she walks. I honestly don't know where or if this new interest will lead anywhere. She is not a random whom I fell head over heels for to heal my broken heart. Was it a crazy start? Yep. Is it maybe just the first real lady exp since my WW, maybe so. I just know with this one, I have to give it a shot even while being mindful of the risks.
