Uncertain of What I Have (Thread 6)

[AnotherStander]

I’m repeating myself here, but....I sometimes wonder if she’s doing me a favor that this is happening when I’m 35, instead of 45 or 55.

You mean like me? Well at your age you could actually start another family if you wanted. For me it was a little too late for that. But hey, it's never to late to start a new chapter in your life even if that doesn't mean kids. My life is quite different now, I didn't choose this path but I made (and am still making) the best of it. If given the choice I would have stayed married. But I'm not going to lie, I am having way more fun and way better sex now. I'm living a life I used to fantasize about while married. Whatever happens to you whether it's reconciling or not reconciling it will probably be a huge improvement over your old life. I think if more LBS's could look into the crystal ball and see where they will end up they wouldn't be so worried right now.

How would you say that this could be a blessing in disguise?

It has a way of waking you up, making you question everything you thought you knew and change your views, shakes you out of your complacency, makes you value the things you used to take for granted. It's a period of huge growth and discovery. Most people who are very successful in life credit adversity for giving them the drive to get there. They don't cry about having gone through it, they talk about how it hardened them and gave them steely determination. Now there is no question it's pure misery to go through something like this. It's horrible, maybe the worst thing you'll ever go through. But you can use it to your advantage.