So next time she pressures, have a response like this ready: "I am completely opposed, ethically and morally to divorce. If you want a divorce I can't stop you but I will do nothing to help. I won't hinder it if you insist on divorce, but I won't file, I won't lift a finger in anyway to help with it because it would violate my conscience." .
Thanks guys.. this evening she made contact with me in our house (first non kid communication if quite a bit) and asked if she could borrow my book I mentioned a couple of weeks ago (7 principles for making a marriage work).. it completely took me off guard, i took a deep breath, realized this is all more of her plot to either a) make her self feel better about being how she is and or b) just a ploy to make it look like she is 'trying all things' before filing for D. I said basically that I think she should go out research, and get her own books that suit her. No need to take my advice, or read what I am reading. She definitely was shocked. I then proceeded to say or more or less words the above that Steve85 said. I told her no need to go to my IC if she was not going for the right reasons. And that I am not going to step in her way of D - but I am totally against it but i won't fight her anymore about it - if this is what she wants go for it! But I am not helping her.
I did say that she needs to understand that my kids are my absolute world, and that I am going to have a hard time not seeing them... to which she said "so are you going to fight me for custody?!" I told her that is not what I am saying, I have not thought about that yet - but just telling her how I feel about the kids and what she is doing to them.
I really do feel good. I am actually detached now. You guys are right she is not the woman I married years ago and had 2 kids with at this point in her life. I ended it saying all I can do is be the best dad i can be and that is what I am going to do and then walked away.
