New thread- Newcomer pre-bomb drop

[Bern19]

Thanks AnotherStander. I agree with what you said about letting her come back too soon. Sandi and others warned me about making it being too easy to get back to working on reconciliation. I do know that I'm not willing to share her with him in ANY way. I don't care if she misses him as a friend or whatever lame reasoning she'll use to make it seem like it's not that big of a deal. It's just such a bad deal. She and the OM work for the school district that my kids attend. I keep thinking what happens if they are outed by the OM's wife or in some other public way. How can she not see how destructive that would be for our kids, being the butt of every joke because their mom was caught being a whore. I just can't believe she can't see that.

I think my plan is to just come out and ask her when the last time she contacted him. When she lies, and she will lie, I can tell her that I know she is lying, that I'm done and that I want her to pack her bags and get out. I'm confident she won't leave, and I have ruled out leaving my home, so I'm stuck with her. Hopefully me cutting off contact and limiting her to the OM ( and the little time she can be with him because OM's wife is monitoring him), she'll start to realize that she depends on me for more than she thinks. I guess at this point, I'd just like her to realize that I've been meeting more of her needs than she ever realized, even if we never get past this and get back together.