Did, I am sorry, but you are even more inconsistent than she is. She is actually pretty consistent. She keeps you on the hook because you allow her to, but otherwise, her path doesn't seem to be changing. You schedule a lunch, talk for 2 hours, tell her how you are becoming a better version of yourself, tell her about a book, then she asks about it and you say "what should I do, go dark?
You are mind-Fing me, I imagine she is feeling the same way. Your words don't match your actions at all. Her words and actions seem to match, even if they aren't going in the direction you want them to.
You want to write a book, you have started a blog, but you really need to live it for other people to relate to it! If you want to help, talk is cheap, but actions are where people follow.
Please stay consistent. having these long lunches, telling her about the things you are doing, then say you are going dark, do it for about 2 minutes, then revert, how can she trust you and your changes if your words and actions don't match? But that doesn't even matter. You need to believe and live them
