You guys are great. We have been sleeping apart the last 6 years (since our first was born) as she mostly got up with the kids and prefers her own bed anyhow.
I should also add that i started going to my own IC when the BD happened. She was adamant she did not want to go to MC and that she is closed up to me, and there is no way that is changed. She is now 'changed' due to our arguments and how I would attack her character. She remembers everything negative about our relationship. Says we aren't meant to be together, etc.
I said (before reading this forum) that I would agree to D if and only if no stone was left uncovered. IE: we try to fix things (mostly for kids .. I am absolutely terrified for them growing up without a family in tact). She then (reluctantly) agreed to go see my IC but this has not happened yet. In hindsight - I think she is only going to appease me and justify to her that she ticked the box of "trying" before filing the D.
What should I do?
Thanks mates.
Most here will say not to have her go. However, I had a similar experience. She came and my IC became OUR MC. So while she was reluctant at first she eventually embraced it. But your W sounds a lot like mine was at the beginning. All negative, not one day of happiness in 19 years of marriage.
sv, one huge caveat related to my sitch. My W's OM ended their EA about 3 weeks after BD. If your W is in an active EA or PA your mileage may vary, greatly. Most WWs have a fantasy outlook for their new life with OM. No matter how rooted in delusion that fantasy is, it is their reality at the moment. Personally, I'd leave it open to her but do not pressure her at all. Just say "I am leaving for IC at X time, you are free to join me."
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
