Hit by the dreaded ILYBNILWY

[mikeyb]

A few things I forgot to add into the original post:
-We did get the truck back after 2 days.
-We are caught back up on financials
-She took the rings off last week (And they are hanging on a necklace by the mirror in the MBR bathroom so I have to see them everytime I walk in there)

As for today, I came home from work, she was in the guest bedroom (no surprise) I took a shower and then cooked dinner. She came out to eat and started small talk, asked me how my day was, in which I simply responded "busy" she then went on to talk about how her night at work was last night, I just listened. I then cleaned up from dinner, she got ready for work, she said goodnight, see you tomorrow and now here I am

Mikey,

sorry you're here. My initial reaction is that you guys aren't good with boundaries. You guys adopted a family and let it ruin your life.

It does suck to be here, but I'll make it through one way or another. As for the adopted family, that is basically exactly it, we had continued to watch her kids for her after she moved out. When things started getting on edge with me and the W I had taken on an extra day out of my weekend watching the kids myself instead of us both watching them on saturday. This freed us for some quality time, but it was too little too late. That continued until 2 weeks ago when her friend got a baby sitter for the whole weekend as she was seeing what it was doing to us.

On the financial situation, own up to the mistake, learn from it, and 180 there. Save first, spend second. Allocate all savings and investments for your goals first while paying your monthly expenses, then spend after that.

I own my mistake and have learned from my actions, I have set a course to correct it and we have since fully recovered in less than 2 months, we are still running on a tight budget which doesn't make her very happy since she doesn't have extra money to spend when she'd like to but that's just what we have to deal with for a little bit while we build up some savings.

Next, you have to start making changing and not running to her to "talk" every time something isn't going right in this marriage. You aren't going to talk your way out of this and she probably doesn't want to support you like this anymore. You're going to need to detach. This means you don't depend on her for everything anymore and you aren't affected by her anymore. She goes to the guest bedroom? Oh well.

As far as talking to her about the marriage I am past that and will patiently wait, in the mean time I'm focusing on me. As for the guest bedroom I'm ok with it now. I wasn't at first and couldn't even sleep in the MBR, was on the couch for about 2 weeks. I have since gone back to the MBR

The cuddling and sex is mixed signals. But you can't be trying to read into it right now because you just won't be able to decipher it.

Not trying to decipher anything coming from her at the moment, both verbally and physically. As I haven't got the slightest clue as to what she's got running through her head, and really don't want to know until she's certain she knows.

I'd be worried. Most folks here have a wayward spouse. This is pinging my radar in the wrong direction.

It was said jokingly, and I'm certain there is nobody else. And if there is she's being very good at hiding it. She doesn't show any signs that somebody else is involved, she hardly leaves the house except for work, she's not hiding her phone from me, etc...

Great. Keep posting and reading here. You're off to a great start.

Thanks, I will be here frequently.