She couldn't give details on costs unless I retained her. Will look to getting another consult set up soon with a different one for a second opinion.
Attorney agreed in my case if I am not living really close to W, then 50/50 is not a good solution. Attorney said its best if I could keep it amicable for the kids as some ppl have not been able to. I got a little choked up looking at the standard visitation calendar for 2019. I'll also be responsible for 25% custody if kids are living with mom in new house. When she asked me if I wanted full custody I said they'll be with mom, she's got the nice house in the nice neighborhood. I'll be in some apartments somewhere and I didn't want that for them. I'm okay with paying custody, I have no problem supporting my kids. Will be tight but will make do.
Moving out early has no impact on decision. I can move out any time I'm financially ready. No abandonment issues, most likely will be joint custody as both courts usually agree on that.
We did speak on infidelity, she also suggested not to press on the PI. Wouldn't matter unless I was trying to get a larger split of property. She said if I'm concerned about recon, during discovery, it will ask if I hired a PI.
She did say that even though I have a separate account, all assets and debts will be considered at discovery to split. We spoke on the new house and she said if there is money that went towards it, W could buy me out as we dumped a lot into it to get it started.
it felt draining but I kept my composure. I saw the box of tissue on the table, made me wonder how many countless other people are in the same boat.
Explained issues with the commute to see if there was anything she could suggest. Didn't get a whole lot of feedback on options other than she agreed with the kids being stable. She also agreed to keep helping support pay bills and for the kids if I do separate and track it for later. Told her this was easy putting money from my account into the shared account.
And that was that.
There are two things that did come up between W and I.
One was when I drove the car with her and the kids in it to pick up the second car from the dealership. The car about 6 cars ahead of us wrecked and crashed into someone else. W wanted to detour and was starting to complain like a backset driver. I calmly told her it didn't matter If we waited to merge ahead, went this way or that, we'd still end up there. She kept bickering until I firmly said "I'm the driver."
The second thing was last night, I told W I was giving S6 a bath at 7:30. After he went to potty# 2, she ran his bath early and I asked her what she was doing, and she said since it was a potty, he'd want to be clean. Told her that's controlling. She said fine I'll give him a bath then. Told her thanks.
There isn't much interaction between W and I even if I am in the same room with her with my S6. We still have family dinners together at the table. I sometimes now initiate good morning very rarely. I don't want to be all chummy with her but I don't want to be cold either.
If there is OM contact? No idea. That wanting to know has faded.
There hasn't been recent GAL. This weekend I plan to throw stuff away in the house that's cluterring it up. W cleaned out the closet and had 10 large trash bags of stuff to be thrown away and donated. I did one sweep earlier. This is round two to prep for the upcoming sale.
A lot of this furniture is in good condition but I told her I didn't want any of it, not even the stuff from our MBR. It' the pride and I guess its symbolic of the old history between us. I don't want to carry that with me, but being practical, I could be saving a few grand for the kids when they come over to sleep. I was going to get an inflatable bed just for myself.
And No, I don't foresee anything with any woman anytime soon. It did make me think about if I dated and was to get serious, she'd need to be okay with 2 kids. I'd need to be okay with either a single person who would want kids or someone who has kids. I'm not rdy for more kids period. Can't do that to a single person nor double up with someone who has.
H 49 , W 47 T 23, M 17 S11, S5 BD: 7/18 IHS: 7/18 - 3/19 Physically Separated: 3/19-4/19 Piecing: 4/19 - Current
