Building my best self and life with or without W

[Did]

I’m open to filing. I’m going to think about it but may do it relatively soon. Maybe that will be my gift to myself for my 34th birthday feb 10th. She is of the opinion that marriage doesn’t matter and she was committed to me because she was committed and not because of a piece of paper saying we’re married. I asked her what she wanted or how she felt about us. And she said she is very introspective and couldn’t give me an answer right now ina. Public space. She didn’t say anything about me directly and has always hesitated on saying nice things about me since the separation. She did say that she was dating someone or had a second date planned with this person. I assume it’s more than a second date. As they normally downplay it.

Knowing I was just in Vegas and both of us had been dating other people. I never talk to her about my dating life. But did early on in separation. She brought us up being friends at that time when I used to talk about these two girls I dated. Over a year ago. She also said she was dating to fill a void and was never healthy and she’s feeling better now. I talked about some of the things I’m into in regard to writing and coaching people on happiness and how to use break ups as a way to grow. She played devils advocate.

Definitely no reason to talk about anything but D4. She definitely needs to know I’m done. Very open to filing. Not really that mad or sad. Kind of just is what it is a little disappointment. But I guess what I expected.

In meantime I’ll write something saying support of $2325 to end in July and only child support to be paid after that as is to be determined by an agreement by both parties. That’s a better deal than any attorney could get me.

Got D4 going home from school. Then going to the gym and will work out hard to get rid of any anxiety knowing she’s out. F it. I’m moving on. Maybe I should just file.