Journaling: Lately I find myself just stuck. I want to proceed with separation, get financials and the house sorted out etc. The more reasonable I am and the more I try and offer W to move things along it seems the less inclined she is to actually proceed. I know I shouldn't but i can't help but think about the why? For someone that remains 100% committed to getting a divorce what is holding her back? Why will she not actually proceed with S in any way? I find myself constantly flip flopping back and forth these days wondering if recon would even be an option at this point. If W was to come to me tomorrow and beg for me to stay I'm not sure if I would even consider it. My rediscovered self worth and realization of how I should be treated by someone that supposedly loves me have really opened my eyes. I am really enjoying bachelor life style, going out with friends on the days I don't have the kids and not having to answer to anyone, sitting on the couch with a glass of wine, music and a book for hours in the evening and not having to worry about a thing, the thought of buying a new place and decorating to my liking all are very exciting to me. I really just want to get things moving forward. I'm 33 years old and should be having the time of my life.
