Hit by the dreaded ILYBNILWY

[ovrrnbw]

Mikey,

sorry you're here. My initial reaction is that you guys aren't good with boundaries. You guys adopted a family and let it ruin your life.

On the financial situation, own up to the mistake, learn from it, and 180 there. Save first, spend second. Allocate all savings and investments for your goals first while paying your monthly expenses, then spend after that.

Next, you have to start making changing and not running to her to "talk" every time something isn't going right in this marriage. You aren't going to talk your way out of this and she probably doesn't want to support you like this anymore. You're going to need to detach. This means you don't depend on her for everything anymore and you aren't affected by her anymore. She goes to the guest bedroom? Oh well.

The cuddling and sex is mixed signals. But you can't be trying to read into it right now because you just won't be able to decipher it.

Then this weekend comes up, and she's been talking to me and calling me a mix between my name and "babe" she also makes a comment while talking about actors saying "you know how couples get a free pass if they can get with a celebrity they want, yea you would be in trouble" (I'm here thinking I'm already in trouble)

I'd be worried. Most folks here have a wayward spouse. This is pinging my radar in the wrong direction.

So basically at this point I don't really know what's going on. I started today the process of detaching, limiting my conversations with her to only if she initiates it. And spent the day working on some projects I've been needing to complete for some time now. She seemed to have noticed me backing away because she asked me "what's up with you" in which I replied with a smile "Nothing" to the response of "Um Hmm"

Great. Keep posting and reading here. You're off to a great start.