Seeing a Doc today, so hopefully that will help me.
W has shown *some* concern towards me—she asked me last night if I need to take a day off. I also wonder if she’s showing concern so she can gauge my willingness / ability to have a follow-up conversation.
For me, the victories have come in not getting ‘baited’ by a whole lot, which I consider an improvement.
I don’t feel like I’m in control of this, though—I go back and forth on ‘I don’t want this’ to ‘imagining what a life D’ed looks like.’ Not sure how I feel about what I want for us.
What’s surreal to me is that last night, as she was feeding YS and I was finishing dinner, W talked about how OS wants to go to Big Bear, and that if a group of people go it will be cheaper—her words were basically ‘oh yeah we get a group of families to go together and blah blah blah....’
At first I was all WTF mentally, but trying to detach and let it go. Believe nothing they say.
