Building my best self and life with or without W

[Adam04]

This is why I don't like hard dates/deadlines/ anni dates or w/e you want to call them when it comes to these matters.
It's an added stress for many. Anni dates allow us to look back and reflect. They're good for renewal, fresh starting points too. Special days for ourselves or that we shared with our loved ones.

If your spouse does not have some sort of wake up from your anniversary date of when you got married or the first time you met, or kissed or w/e other special moment in your lives, what in the world is going to make her jump on board with your cut off date? Hey, I think that was an unintentional pun. It's the action itself. Forget announcements, if you're rdy to move on, move. if she sees you moving and wants to go in your direction, she will catch up and let you know.


This date setting, why is it important to some when they can have a full tank left? IMO these dates are rather arbitrary. Why is spending two years rebuilding yourself considered a waste of time? If you are not where you need to be emotionally or mentally for the better MR 2.0 or for the next deserving person in your life what does that say? There could be a wasted two years, but that does not put any more meaning into a cut off date than if you were successfully moving forward. Would it make sense if you were recon or piecing to say well I still have this deadline we must beat? So... if the date is to cut your losses, cut them and move on. Sounds like another tactic to goad the other person into something they never bought in to in the first place.

then it’s easy to go dark and pay less and I can be the stand up man I want to be communicating. Then I’m not pursuing her as much... Just standing behind my words with feb timetable. I’m not going to overthink it but be confident and let life flow. Rather than trying to control everything.

Separation no longer works? But its okay to then go dark? As separated?

Then the phrases that stick out, "not pursuing as much" That's a give. And the "Rather than trying to control everything." Still shows a controlling nature, even if you realize it and pull the reigns, you are saying that after giving an ultimatum, a very controlling gesture.