Figuring Out What Comes Next

[DonH]

Sorry it's taken so long to get to post this - and because evidently I've been put in time out you won't see this post until someone makes sure I didn't use any naughty words that third graders use but we can't. I digress... there is so very much to tell and so much insight - including into the past months. The thing is, believe only half of what you see and none of what you hear. I think that's how it goes - and even in dating, like this, it's really applicable. I really don't believe what she told me and spoiler alert, she's trying to blame the cooling off on me and denies she didn't call me back, would not initiate texts, etc. She clearly hugely struggles with the truth - and that is one of my deal breakers. My other deal breaker is smoking - she clearly struggles with the truth there as well but I again digress. Let's get to the week.

It was mostly what I hoped it would be for nearly the last year now - just not a sex-filled week - at least not like it used to be when Wild Girl and I would get together and what I thought it would be back in the summer. However, it was way, way better than I thought it would be in the weeks leading up to sailing.

She came out on Thursday night and things were mostly normal. Nice hug greeting but no kiss. We went to a local place for some food and drinks. Things were a bit strained but not too much. We came back about 10 PM and were going to be picked up around 3 AM - Don't ask me why but it was not my call. She broke my shower - long story and no I was not in it with her. Then she could not sleep and I just went to bed alone. I was very restless and either the food or too much ibuprofen and Tylenol for my tooth really upset my stomach. She finally crashed on the couch and the alarm went off before we knew it. Only I was sick - really sick - as in puking sick. Uggggg great way to start out. At least it self limited.

We arrived early - by noon so had the day in Miami and went to South Beech. Things there were somewhat normal, even some hand holding. The hotel room had two beds and we made use of both of them. At least she was trying to be good. Saturday AM we had our first in depth chat about the situation (again I'll save these details for a later post) followed by our first kiss - nothing major. I should also mention that she had her monthly visit so it would not have allowed for some things anyhow. With this new guy's sister on the ship, it also made things a bit awkward for her - certainly not for me. He was also blowing up her phone and from what I could tell being a jerk as she didn't even want to talk with him anymore. Hmmmm. Evidently he "put her through hell" in the week leading up to the cruise. For some reason, she can't or doesn't want to understand why it's not normal to have one BF and go on a cruise with another guy. She really claims to not get it.

In the cabin there just wasn't a practical way to not share the bed. She made one comment about using the couch - which looked beyond uncomfortable and had our suit cases and other things piled on it. We had a queen size bed so it's not like we were on top of each other. She kept her PJs for the the first days - again due at least in part to her condition.

By Sunday, her monthly visit was done, we were back to a better rhythm and now out of phone service she was much more relaxed. We coasted along until word got out to our close group friends that she might have a BF. So now she felt really uncomfortable - well she did it to herself. I'd say Monday was the most down day - for multiple reasons including one of our ports got cancelled and it included a dune buggy excursion that we were really looking forward to. I know Monday was the most down day for me. I guess we all had one. But by Tuesday, things were starting to get much better. Wednesday was I think our best day. We did an ATV excursion with our group of 8 and it was beyond a blast. At night Wild Girl and I had dinner by ourselves at one of the specialty restaurants. This clearly helps me to answer Joseph's question

Did you create a fun filled, romantic opportunity for sex to happen????

It should be no surprise but after a really great day and going into a romantic dinner, things would set the stage. We talked more and by this time were already getting closer, including sleeping as we always had in the past at my house (I didn't think Wild Girl even owned PJs) LOL. I'm sure you know what's coming after such a fun-filled day and romantic dinner, including hand holding across the table and a few kisses. She did hold out to this 7th day - before having full sex I mean. I have to take great credit for that as well as I didn't push things at all. I let her take the lead. Once this ice was broken, it's how things would run through the rest of the cruise and until we got back.

By Friday Wild Girl was really starting to miss her girls. She may have missed someone else as well but she didn't comment on it. At first she was not going to stay Saturday night as planned after we got back but in the end she did. Her phone was blowing up very early Sunday morning already. When I asked who it was, "Who do you think" was the response. I'm sure he had a miserable week. She left about 9 AM and my life has returned to normal - at least my normal.

I will discuss all that I learned in a later post. I have to say, that I was right about one thing - I would have been really miserable and added to my already damaging cruise PTSD had I gone alone. Even though we didn't try to, we were together most all of the time. Those of you on here who are friends with me on FB have commented that it looked like a "couple-ee" cruise - and it was. Everyone in our close group was with a SO. We had rough seas on Wednesday night and all the couples retired early. I would have been left. That happened a lot. We had time to ourselves. I did have to perform with both bands - and that was more time than I anticipated but it was mostly in the first three days of the cruise. I again had Wednesday off which also helped that be the best day. Nights got more sparse. It was Wild Girl and I much of the time - then joined by all of the others who weaved in and out during the days.

I really needed this vacation and also needed it to go well. It stinks that it had to happen as it did. Right or wrong I am walking away from it all just fine. If anyone is to blame in all of this it's Wild Girl. She did not tell this guy a single word about the cruise until between Christmas and New Years. Not a word. She didn't tell me about him until the same time. She clearly orchestrated all of this so she could have the cruise with me and the new R with the new guy. Which, BTW, he claims they started dating in August - which she flat out denies and says he was still living with his GF of 14 years in August. He clearly went right from that girl to Wild Girl. WG was very likely the other woman who gave him the security to finally leave what he knew was not a good R. He can't be by himself? It certainly looks that way. I remember her telling me about this guy - calling him "her buddy" - which is what she says of me to him - I'm just her buddy. I'm pretty sure his sister saw otherwise and told him so - he just doesn't want to see what's right in front of his face and as long as she is back he doesn't care. Again, that's on him. He wants her or wants someone so bad he is willing to allow pretty much anything for it to happen.

The very first weekend after we re-met and then the following weekend went on a date, I told all of you she was broken. Was that theory not totally proven correct? As for her and I, I know I'll see her again - mostly because she left some cloths here LOL The short-term future will not have me in it - and I'm fine with that and is as much by my choice as anything else. I can't say we won't be friends going forward - just as we have been for a few years already but there is simply no way I could ever trust her. The damage inside of her runs really deep. Yet we get along really great, I learned some things from her, and her from me. In the end we dated for the summer, she started dating someone new - who is way more into her than she is into him - and went back to me for a week. That's dating. The only one not knowing or wanting to know the full truth is her new guy. That's his problem - not mine.

So there you go. After some discussion, I'll give you the details of her side of what happened from about mid-September and us drifting apart. I just don't think what she says is the truth really is the truth. I think the truth challenges her greatly.