Husband left for the second time - 8

[Davide]

Nic,

Keep pushing the limits of your comfort zone. If you aren't uncomfortable then you aren't growing. You are clearly a wonderfully successful and intelligent person - that will attract many people into your life if you let them in.

I wanted to comment on this part of your message particularly:

The guy I met left his wife and said she had mental problems. As he described how she wanted to buy a house and have more kids but he ended it with her because she can't regulate her emotions I can't help but wonder about her side of the story. I can imagine my husband saying the same thing to his other woman. This guy says he offered her a chance to get treatment but the way he said he's feeling great about his divorce didn't seem right. He has a young child. He was still a respectable guy and I appreciate that he was fine with meeting as friends but there's probably no need to stay in touch.

I wouldn't be too quick to judge that. Pouring your energy, affection and love into a person who can't regulate their emotions is a waste of those precious resources. I think that is a major reason that my W left me, as I sucked the energy out of her, thinking that it was her job to fill my emotional needs and holes. I know that in looking at future relationships that is a complete deal-breaker for me. Emotional maturity and regulation is a sine qua non of a successful relationship in my opinion. You certainly got a better read on the guy than any of us did, but I would hesitate to judge him too harshly based on what you said above.