Bro... You seem so level-headed in regard to the thoughts you put into play regarding other peoples sitches. You seem to have a lot of good things going for you, and you need to embrace that, for you.
You are stalling and repeating your pattern, and I have been there... and I have been getting the 2x4's thrown at my face for it, and im glad, because if not, I would still be there...
look at your bullet points my friend.. You see them as points to how you both have redeemed yourselves, and are now healthier, wiser and ready for round 2.. I know you will be fine with or without, but I also can read between the lines, that you really really want it to be with....
Your bullet points, will not work in your favor. You engaging in this conversation, will not work in your favor. You need to let go. Get to a the point, where she is a person you care for, because of what you shared in the past, but in the present, she is really messing you up with this repeating cycle. Let go, and then you will see clear. Work on you, be the great dad I know you are from reading your journals. Do NOT talk with her about those pointers, they will just come off as pursuit, and she will only be pushed away with the knowledge that, despite your efforts to rip loose from her, you are still detached, and she will use this against you.
Be strong my friend - this is the worst time of your life, but its time, it passes, and new time overflows the past and presents you with something great for the future, I am sure of it.... But that can only happen, if you decide to let the past be in the past.
You are the one, who makes the difference in you, nobody else. Love yourself enough to let go, only then can you let other people and even maybe your old companion, love you like you deserve to be loved.
BD: Wife says "its over" 11th august 2018. EA: June 2018 PA: August 2018 - ongoing Status: Taking turns 7 days a week to be in the house w. kids WW: no regrets, seems happy with leaving.
